Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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