Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
