well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
