Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
