Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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