I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
