And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize