so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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