i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
