I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we're so committed to being not committed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
