when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
