She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
