he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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