You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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