I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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