So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
