i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
