I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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