You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
