It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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