i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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