i just wanna soil my oats bro
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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