Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The adults are the big ones right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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