I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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