She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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