She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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