you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
