Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
