we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
