i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
