I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
