i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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