Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
