Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
