Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
