How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card