dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
