Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
