i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
