I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
