Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
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I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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