so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
