Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
