I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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