i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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