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Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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