dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't think brook has ever known best
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
