I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
