Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
