Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
