Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
