you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
