My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
