i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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