If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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