Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
