We're facebook friends in real life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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