Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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