I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
