Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
